Are You Ready to Free Yourself?

Can we be real with each other? Can I be transparent with you? 

For years I was in denial.  I thought I was fine.  If you asked me how I was doing, my reply quite frequently would be, “I’m doing great.” or “I’m blessed!”

I was the opposite of transparent. I was hiding in plain sight. I took great care to not let anyone get too close to me because if you got any closer, you might see the reality.

You might see the extra bag I was carrying around, my invisible bag that was overflowing with past SHAME, REGRETS, HURTS and GUILT. 

The SHAME was almost debilitating. – For years, I didn’t realize I was in an unhealthy, abusive marriage.  I thought that explosive fights, unreasonable disagreements, crushing words and betrayals of trust were par for the course. Because I wasn’t being physically beaten, I thought I was okay…that I was different from those unfortunate women. But, that wasn’t true. It wasn’t okay that I was mentally and verbally abused.  It took more than 30 years for me to see my own truth. I am a survivor of domestic violence.  Wow, there’s nothing more liberating than speaking my truth and freeing myself of the shame.

The REGRET was crippling. – Do you know someone who is always talking about their past?  They just can’t seem to get over it. Ok, maybe not!  How about the person you see when you look in the mirror?  Are you stuck in the past, constantly beating yourself up about a bad decision you made years ago?  Are you holding on to past regrets?  If the answer is yes, chances are you haven’t forgiven yourself.  It’s time for you to have a private conversation with yourself.  Most people don’t want to face the ugly truth.  Move beyond the regret. Keep it real, because the truth will set you free.

One of the biggest mistakes I made was keeping silent. I didn’t want anyone, including my family to know what I was going through.  I wanted to keep that picture-perfect image.

My past HURTS prevented happiness. – I lost my confidence, gave up my hopes and dreams.  I spent invaluable time attempting to please a man, thinking if I did everything like he wanted, he would love me like I wanted and deserved to be loved.

And then there was GUILT…trying to keep me in bondage. – How did I lose my identity and myself? I didn’t recognize myself when I looked in the mirror and I surely wasn’t happy with the person I saw in the mirror.  But one day, I decided that I’d had enough. I was sick and tired of my situation and I couldn’t take it anymore.  I surrendered, I cried out to God and He answered.  At that moment, I had an encounter with the Holy Spirit that changed the rest of my life.  It was the best thing I could have ever done for my four daughters and myself.  God forgave me, and He gave me a free ticket to happiness…the opportunity to move beyond my SHAME, REGRETS, HURTS, and GUILT.  The choice was mine and I chose my freedom.  He has given you a free ticket also.  What is it that you need to get over?  What’s holding you captive?  It’s time to Forgive Yourself and Break Free!

Maybe you made a mistake; in your eyes it was a HUGE mistake!  You did the unthinkable.  You said things you wish you hadn’t.  You made a bad decision.  Guess what my friend?  You’re not alone.  We all have made mistakes.  We all have guilt over what could’ve, would’ve and should’ve been…

I believe being free starts with forgiving yourself.  You see, I couldn’t get past the poor choices I made, the time I wasted in an abusive relationship and all the years I gave my heart to someone who betrayed and hurt me.  Why did I allow a man to isolate me from those who truly loved me?   Once I learned to forgive myself, I started to love myself again.  I got my confidence back, and no longer walked in fear.  The chains of bondage were broken.  Today, I can look in the mirror and smile at the woman I see.  I love me and I’m free! 

“So what?  You did it, it’s done, Get over it.  Forgive Yourself!” ~ Altregia Jordan

Declaration | “I finally admit all my sins to you and I will stop trying to hide them. I confess them to you Lord.  And you have forgiven me!  All my guilt is gone. I Forgive me, I Love me and I am Free!”

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